I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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