yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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