I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just pee around me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
