I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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