Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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