margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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