yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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