You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
