I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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