How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
