i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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