There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she told me i tasted like america
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
