I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
