I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
