Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
