He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
