Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
