awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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