Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if only i could text you this smell
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
