Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
only you would photoshop your dick
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
