K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
