Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just cut my nipple shaving
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
