Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
