I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
