I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
