It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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