worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
