Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
