What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
