how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
