He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize