Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
