Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
