mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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