I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
