what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
