you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
