Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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