i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
