Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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