Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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