My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize