Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
