I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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