you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
and you fell through a lawn chair
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
