when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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