ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
