I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize