Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My butt remains clenched, sir.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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