I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
