On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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