Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm passing your future prison.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
