hell yes lets make some ravioli
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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