We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
