dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
