How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
