Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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