I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
