in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
