he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
