dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
